Cherish these moments

It's 5:30 am.
I can't go back to sleep, not just yet.
My son, yeah, he still does the occasional waking in the middle of the night. 20 months old and he still does this every once in awhile.

First it was 1am, I had Ben go and get him to bring into bed with us. Josiah whimpering for his mommy, I scooped him up in my arms and just held him in bed there with me. Even in the darkness of the room, I can still make out his baby-like features that he somehow still has at his toddler state. He easily falls back to sleep, right there in my arms close to my chest. I can smell his newly washed hair from his bathtime that I gave him. Breathing his baby smell in, kissing his head. Oh, I need to love and cherish this.

3am comes around and he starts to shuffle in his sleep waking me up, I wait for him to get comfortable before going back to sleep myself. Finally he settles sleeping on his tummy, closer to daddy. Daddy puts his arm around his son. They look so warm and comfortable sleeping there together. I love my boys so much! Before going back to sleep, I just watched them sleep together for awhile. What a beautiful thing to see right before snoozing away.

5am. Josiah is whimpering, which turned into crying. I decided then that I think he was ready to go back into his own bed, and he was, he fell back to sleep on his own, without fighting, without crying. He was ready to have his own space again. My sweet independent little boy. Having him sleep with us half the night was bittersweet in a way. I got to spend time with my oldest child, my son. But I lost sleep, being 22 weeks pregnant, I need my sleep. Tonight I didn't care. I wanted him to be comforted, I wanted him to know that he is loved and that his mommy is there when he needs something-anything.

Why did I write this random post?
Because I want to remember. He is only this little for so long.
This is what I have learned lately.
We must take advantage of these moments. He will never be this little again, he is just the sweetest little boy all snuggly and cuddly.

Society has us thinking that we need to make our children, our babies independent.
Yes we do, but does that mean that he has to "cry it out" to be independent?
He can say words, but I know that tonight he just needed his mommy. He needed to be near me, to hear me breathing, to smell me right next to him for a little while.
Sleep is precious to me.
But my son is even more precious.